What I want to be when I grow up.

This blog has changed meaning several times over the past year or two since I started it. First it was a place to comment on daily life as a mom and person struggling to find herself. Then it became a design blog about home decorating on the cheap. Now it will be a mix of both.  An account of my journey towards owning my own online home decor business.

I am in my… ahem, mid 40′s and I am confused as to how I got this late in life and yet feel as if I haven’t even gotten started.  You know the old questions of how do you know when it’s love or, when do you start really feeling like a grown up?    Those questions are hard to answer but even harder I think, is the question: At what point do you realize that no one is going to hand life to you on a silver platter and start making things happen for yourself?  I’m not sure everyone ever gets to that point. Maybe only a select few. Certainly the people that do have this epiphany, do so at a much earlier point in their life than mid-40′s. Oprah had her Ah Ha! moment and I am just now having my, Well Duh! moment.

Starting an ecommerce business is difficult. I am well aware that the ‘if you build it they will come’ mentality is the killer. I know it will be a slow and arduous journey. However, I also believe that much of my success will be based on my willingness to put myself out there and bare my soul. To believe in myself even if nobody else does.  I am hugely fearful of failure and I’m hoping that fear will drive me to keep going even on days when I feel tremendously defeated.  I am at the threshold of a new chapter in my life.

And, I am scared out of my gourd.